The Secret to a Happy Lesbian Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day is an age-old tradition; a day set aside for exchanging love with your partner via gifts or cards.

 

Some may argue it’s another heterosexual “Hallmark” invention but according to a current poll on lesbian dating and community site Pink Sofa, 93 percent of lesbians embrace it.

 

So how do most lesbians like to celebrate Valentine’s Day and what should you bestow upon your sweetheart to keep those flames burning?

 

According to a third of the 1700 lesbian respondents the number one most wanted gift was a romantic weekend away. 

 

If that’s out of the budget you could always consider the next two most popular wishes; simply some loving kisses or, for something more rigorous, giving a full body massage with essential oils.

 

For those more inclined in the kitchen she’d probably be content with a home-cooked candlelight dinner, an option more favoured than taking her out for dinner.

 

If none of the above appeal you are starting to get into dangerous waters.  The rest of the preferences were chosen by 5 per cent or less although it seems hard to argue with those respondents who said they would love to receive a poem written just for them.

 

Surprisingly a dozen red roses, a champagne bubble bath, or a box of chocolates are just not going to cut it. 

 

Forget the practical approach such as a hardware store voucher. That will get you nowhere.

 

And don’t even surprise her with a ring, only 2 percent chose that option!

 

So all things considered it seems you need to save your pennies, pack the lip cream, essential oils and candles, and get your maps out to start planning your weekend away. 

 

Surely if you combine the top four most popular Valentine desires you are home and hosed!

 

Lesbians – Pussycats not Tigers in the Workplace

We’ve all heard that one of the best ways to meet someone is at work, but what if we actually do?

How do we deal with that gorgeous woman who leans over the photocopier and lures us with her melting eyes?

According to a poll, released by lesbian on-line dating site Pink Sofa, when it comes to the crunch we go to pieces!

Almost a third of the 2000 respondents said they “felt like an idiot around her”, and a fifth said they “couldn’t concentrate at all”.

Twelve per cent tried to ignore her while others couldn’t even eat while in her presence.

It’s not all doom and gloom for the existence of intrepid lesbianism though.

Thirteen per cent figured it was “no problem, she’s got the hots for me too” and a similar number “thanked the goddess every hour”.

Some were even heading straight to the photocopying room to wait for her!

How do you handle women?

Lesbian Legal Rights Passed by Australian Senate

Lesbian relationships in Australia received welcome recognition yesterday after two bills enforcing equality were passed through the Senate.

The amendments expanded the terms “de facto relationship”, “parent”, “step-parent” and “relative” to include same-sex couples giving them equal rights on a number of issues.

Superannuation entitlements, Medicare health safety nets, social security, tax, and employment were some of the areas where gay and lesbian couples would receive equal rights.

Openly gay Labor Senator Penny Wong said her Government had followed through on last year’s election promises to remove discrimination from Commonwealth laws.

“They deliver, on an important day for us, on a very important election commitment”, she said.

“More importantly, they will deliver the sort of equality before the law that same-sex couples have never previously experienced.”

Liberal opposition Senator George Brandis acknowledged the significance of the bills saying they would complete law reform in the area of same-sex relationships which began 40 years ago when homosexual relationships were decriminalised.

Senator Bob Brown, leader of the Australian Greens and also openly gay, was not so commending.

While he congratulated the Government he was scathing of their lack of leadership to include equality in same-sex marriage.

“Both the older parties have a task to undertake: to communicate better with the Australian community and to understand that the pressure coming from sectional groups, minority groups, to sanction marriage for all couples regardless has great public support”, he said.

A poll taken by Australasia’s largest online lesbian dating and community site Pink Sofa supported Senator Brown’s sentiments with 88 per cent of the more than 4000 respondents wanting same sex marriages legalised.

Pink Sofa member Jenny Ball was thrilled with the outcome but also wanted more.

“This really is a milestone for the Australian Gay and Lesbian Community and is something that has been long-awaited and now brings us in line with a number of other forward-thinking countries,” she said.

“The next key step is for the Government to ratify the laws that currently prevent same-sex marriage, thereby removing the final piece of discrimination and marginalisation against the Community”.

Marriage for same-sex couples remains on the horizon however with the Rudd Labour Government as well as the Opposition refusing to be swayed by public opinion.

Pink Sofa is one of the world’s largest online lesbian communities. We are recognised by lesbians world-wide as a strong, well respected site because of our integrity, longevity and unwavering commitment to provide quality products and services to the lesbian market.

We have one of the largest databases of lesbians in the world with an active membership of more than 100 000 women and a site usage of 6.5 million pages viewed per month.

Pinksofa.com has an engaging mix of services and community features including online dating, forums, chat rooms, instant messenger, discussion topics, polls, and international classifieds.

Love and lesbians – some dating tips

According to a recent poll less than a third of lesbians are in a reciprocal loving relationship.

So how can we find true love?

Lesbian dating site Pink Sofa has released some poll results which should help lift the odds.

When it comes to what attracts lesbians most to a potential partner more than a third of the 4000 respondents chose personality as the number one factor.

Eyes were the second most important feature followed by a sense of humour, self confidence and intelligence.

We also need to be clean.

More than two thirds of respondents stated that good hygiene was a determining factor followed by non-smoking for 21 per cent.

Okay we’ve got past the first hurdle, so where do we take them on the first date?

According to the poll almost half of lesbians like to be taken to a restaurant so it’s probably the safest bet.

The pub is a less popular option and taking them to your place or theirs is definitely out!

And if deciding to venture outdoors, the beach or national park is quite popular.

Wheww…..so you don’t need to be Angelina Jolie; you just need to be funny, clean, and smoke free with an alright personality and a willingness to take her out for dinner.

Ready for that first date? Visit Pink Sofa the world’s biggest online community for lesbians.

Lesbian Sexuality is Nature not Nurture and Melissa Etheridge agrees!

Lesbian dating site Pink Sofa has released survey results which reveal that, despite arguments otherwise, sexuality is not a choice for most lesbians.

Of the more than 5,000 respondents in the Pink Sofa poll more than 60 per cent believed they were born lesbian or bi-sexual, with only six per cent attributing their sexuality to a life event or their upbringing.

Further, only seven per cent of respondents said their sexuality was a conscious choice.

About a fifth of participants took the middle ground believing their sexuality was a combination of nature, nurture and choice.

Pink Sofa respondents are not alone in arguing the genetic influence of sexuality.

Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter Melissa Etheridge inadvertently supported the nature debate, with a recent post on The Daily Beast blog, referring to the banning of gay marriages.

“Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away,” she said.

Etheridge suggested that since the passing of Proposition 8, which bans gay marriage in California and effectively calls into question the legitimacy of her marriage, the state could forget about getting any tax payments from her.

“I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state takes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds like that taxation without representation thing from the history books,” she said.

It seems as though the long standing nature v nurture debate will continue to be discussed for some time yet.

To explore your sexuality, visit Pink Sofa the world’s biggest online community for lesbians.

Writing a Really Great Profile… Part 2

Here’s some more tips to help you get the most out of your profile

Photo: Who am I talking to?

Unless you’re not yet out and afraid someone will recognise you with dire consequences, posting your photo is almost mandatory to ensure your profile gets the attention it deserves. Another cliché, but a picture is worth a thousand words and while you might not think you’re supermodel material, that special someone out there might just think you are!

When posting a photo, be sure to adhere to the guidelines and include a photo “of your face” (don’t ask…), that is less than 2 years old. While you don’t need to opt for a glamour photo shoot, invite a friend who at least knows one end of a camera from the other to take a photo of you with good lighting conditions in a relatively distraction-free background. We know you love your dog, but we want to see your face, not his! Oh yes, and don’t forget to smile – you’re happy to be here, aren’t you?.

Final Points: Maintaining your Profile

Your profile is incredibly important, so spend time refining it and update it regularly; I have noticed some members have started adding a short “blog” to the top of their profile detailing the latest happenings in their life. This method provides a great opportunity to get a conversation started, why not try it yourself? But remember to keep it fresh and interesting.

I’m tempted to conclude this article with the words “good luck” but somehow they don’t seem appropriate on their own, so I will preface it with wise words from Benjamin Franklin: “Diligence is the mother of good luck”. So go forth and be diligent!

Writing a Really Great Profile… Part 1

Writing a great profile need not be a chore, it just requires some thought. Most people are impatient, will sign up to a site like Pink Sofa and then dive straight in, filling out their profile details and description without giving it much thought. Perhaps you intend to come back later and add some finishing touches to your profile and then never get around to it. Perhaps you don’t think it’s really that important? Depending on your motivation for being on a site like Pink Sofa, whether it be for developing new friendships, business networks or to find the love of your life, you’ve only got one shot at telling your story. Don’t blow it!

The basics: layout, spelling and punctuation

Admittedly, these things are a particular pet hate of mine, but I’m sure I’m not alone. To be perfectly frank, poor spelling and attention to detail are a real turn off. Take a little time to honestly assess the way your profile appears on the page: is it too long? Too short? A jumble of rambling thoughts? As far as length is concerned, don’t “overwrite” your profile; readers don’t necessarily want your life story, just some salient points to spark their interest.

Remember to break your profile into paragraphs, and inserting the odd comma and full stop won’t go astray either! Poor grammar and punctuation make your profile hard to read and the potential love of your life could go AWOL at the sight of a poorly written profile. When I was a wide-eyed teenager in training at a restaurant chain, the company motto was “You never get a second chance to make a first impression”. Cheesy, but true: you may have only a fleeting moment to show someone how amazing you are, so don’t make the most of it! If command of the written word is not one of your strong points, try writing your profile in a word document first and run it through the spelling/grammar check. It’s not cheating; think about the last time you applied for a job: weren’t there at least some capital letters involved?

Content: you are what you type?

Ok, ok, I know what you’re thinking. Women are different to men, they can see beyond the words. Being naturally intuitive, women will read what I have written and see the real me. Sorry to shatter this illusion for you, but women will only do this if what you have written is a real reflection of the person that you are – or at least a close approximation! Avoid clichés; instead focus on what is important to you and what you are looking for in a potential partner or friend. Be specific also about your likes and dislikes, instead of “I like movies”, why not “I love romantic comedies”; instead of “I like to dine out”; try “I love eating Italian food” – you might develop a special bond over pasta at the local Italian restaurant! Be creative and use humour where appropriate, the use of humour is a great way to break barriers – if the woman reading your profile is smiling now, wait until she meets you

Importantly, re-read what you have written: could you send yourself a message based on the information that’s in your profile? If not, add more detail! Everyone needs a starting point to begin melting the ice, let alone break it!

Ok so that’s enough to get started with… more to follow!

Safe Online Dating – some words of advice

The explosion of internet use in the last decade has provided society with an incredible resource – we can shop online, download books, music, movies and more. The proliferation of personal websites such as Facebook, MySpace and Yahoo 360 has also provided limitless networking opportunities on a global scale. And yet recent media reports have some users running scared; communicating in cyberspace has its inherent risks and people may not be who they appear: there have been many arrests of men who trawl the internet looking for sex with underage girls, pretending to be teenagers themselves.

The number of online dating sites has exploded also and while most sites require members to be aged 18 or over, reducing the vulnerability of users to some extent, there are still risks associated with communicating with someone in an online environment.

Pink Sofa is very mindful of this and one of the very first messages members receive from the Webmistress involves staying safe online:

Keep safe online!

BE SMART
Don’t give out your personal contact details!

BE SURE
Get to know someone before you meet them.
Send lots of messages.

BE SAFE
Meet in a busy place.
Never meet at your house the first time.

Let’s take these steps one at a time.

BE SMART – Don’t give out your personal contact details!
In much the same way as it’s not advisable to hand out your phone number in a pub or club, don’t give out any details such as your real name, phone number or address until you have met your new online friend in person and can get a feel for what she’s really like. As women we are often notoriously (sometimes blindly!) trusting and while most times there are no legitimate reasons to be mistrustful, as the old expression goes it is better to be safe than sorry.

BE SURE – Get to know someone before you meet them.
Send lots of messages.
No amount of online communication will prepare you for a real life meeting, but spend time getting to know your friend online before you meet her face to face. You will be able to discern some of her traits through online communication – does she respond to your messages in a timely manner? Is she enthusiastic in her messages? How candid has she been about her past? Is the tone of her messages consistent – that is, does it sound like it’s really “her” or a persona she’s developed for online meetings?

BE SAFE – Meet in a busy place. Never meet at your house the first time.
Even if you feel like you really know the person well, it is imperative that you treat your first meeting with caution. Ensure that friends and family know where you are going, with whom (your new friend’s username, if not her real name) and what time you should be expected home. Meet in a public place, never your house or hers: if things don’t work out the way you expected you can leave a public place with more ease than a private home.

Although you might view these warnings with some cynicism – “It won’t happen to me”, at Pink Sofa we urge you to be vigilant in regards to staying safe. We want you to enjoy your experience on Pink Sofa, and careful preparation and planning will help you do just that!

Welcome to On The Sofa!

On the Sofa is the blogging site for PinkSofa.com – the world’s biggest online community for lesbians.

PinkSofa.com is a comfortable, friendly online space for women who love women to interact and access useful resources including online lesbian dating, forums, chat rooms, instant messenger, discussion topics and a classifieds section where members can post local event information.

PinkSofa.com is all about connecting, so we have started this blog as a way of connecting with YOU. We want to let you know what’s happening in our world, and find out what’s happening in yours. Feel free to suggest topics you’d like to see covered as well as comment on the articles that are posted.

With your input, this blog can develop into a wonderful resource for all women who love women!

To find out what others are saying about PinkSofa.com, visit our testimonials page!